Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Now the juicy stuff

So many of you are wondering: so what happened in San Francisco with your thesis?!?!?

Well, it was a pretty crazy week. I hardly ate or slept or got any real homework done. I spent most of time running around meeting friends, talking to Academy reps, and trying to put the finishing touches on my presentation (sorry to those of you my dear friends whom I could not see while I was in SF, if I tried to squeeze one more thing in I would have a complete, messy breakdown).

Um . . . so for those of you who may not have known, I have been having a really hard time lately putting in the time I ought to in front of the easel. As my midpoint loomed, I found it incredibly difficult to get enthused about my final thesis project. By Tues. , I would say I was 99% certain I would not want to finish out my MFA in painting at the Academy.

Well, over the course of the week, I met with the head of the Graduate Graphic Design program to consider pursuing that (I have done some freelance graphic design). After talking with him and talking with the Graduate Admissions Director, I found myself setting an appt. with the creative director of the Advertising program.

Needless to say, I was freaking out. This was never something on the table! Never in a million years had I thought of myself doing advertising! I could have seen myself being a real estate mogul before I would see myself doing advertising!!!

So I did present my thesis proposal and then turned around and emailed the director and told him to not bother letting me know the results, because I was withdrawing from the painting program and would let him know by Monday which program (if any) I will be transferring to.

So I do feel a sense of loss at letting go of the world of full time painting, but if I am going to be realistic here, I would need more drive and commitment to the easel to flourish in that world. I do feel sad, because I had visions of such beautiful paintings I wanted to paint. I will just have to paint those on Sunday afternoons. They will be my form of worship.

So now I need to decide between the world of graphic design, the frightening prospect of advertising, or the comfortable security of returning to psychology.

On the outside it looks like I could do really well in advertising; I am drawn to doing things like branding, account planning, and art direction, but who knows? We'll see where this all goes. I just need to find a place of zen and pragmmattic honesty in which i can make a wise decision.

If I choose design or advertising I will have to move back to San Francisco pretty soon, but you know what, I think maybe this time around I will actually really enjoy it.

I think before I was dead set on hating it, and whereas before I found the seascape flat and uninspiring, it now seems to hold the promise of expansion and liberation.

I also was able to draw closer to some of my good friends while in SF and was really able to get some great stuff off my chest. For you guys, thanks for being so patient and understanding with me.

I will keep everyone posted on what the final decision (and let's just hope this is the FINAL decision. I HATE changing big stuff like this, as you can all remember from the psychology to art switching days).


Hilary Burton said...

WHAT!!! JOHN!!! WOW!!!

I am amazed...seriously...what a turn of events...the tables have turned...

I can't believe that you told them not to bother about hearing the results of your thesis...that was effing bold...sheesh...but way to go! I'm proud of you...

I support you doing whatever the hell you want! Always always and forever...


Nathalie said...

I have always been admirative about your ability to follow your heart and to make decisions according although the decision might be difficult. Thank you for continuing to be such an example. Thank you for updating us.

You have alll my support. I believe in you.