Okay so I have a few blog updates, but they are going to have to come out in pieces.
This is the first.
On Sat. I was heading to the gym, and while I was waiting for the subway heading downtown, I saw some shaggy haired kid with a skateboard. My first thought was he reminded me of my own shaggy haired days.
And then I realized: he was one of my former students!! For those of you who don't know, while I was in SF before, I taught English and Reading Skills at an afterschool program for inner city kids. Kind of like a hybrid of conventional tutoring and separate curriculum focus.
Anyway, so this kid (can't tell you his name), was one of my favorite students! He was so smart! And he actually got my lame ass dry jokes! I just saw a lot of potential in him.
He was also PAINFULLY shy. More than anything, I just tried to get him to relax! And to maybe see his youth as a time to have fun and socialize a bit.
So I see him, but I dont know, I am suddenly not sure if he recognizes me, and I smile and say, "Hi." And he says, "Hi" back. The weird thing is I am still not sure if he remembers me as one of his teachers or if he just thinks I am some crazy dude in the city who likes to hit on teenage boys. BAH!
But we talk for a bit. And its just like weird. He's 17!!!!!!! 17. So crazy. It's like I was his age when I started BYU. And I don't know, I just felt so weird, trying to reconnect with this teenager, and really feeling at such a loss. It just made me feel . . . very un-teenager.
I know what you might be thinking . . .Uh, John you're in you mid 20's, you ARE very unteenager, but in a lot of ways, inside I feel like it wasnt that long ago that I left high school and my teenage years. In fact, eight years have now passed! Holy @#$%!
Anyway, it was good to see this student of mine. He seemed to be doing well in the couple of minutes I talked to him. But I definitely walked away (on my creaky knees) feeling a little . . . out of sorts. I have kind of felt that way lately. Like while I am becoming more in tune with who I am, I am also in a place of redefinition. I AM getting older. My relationship with my parents has really been changing . . . ever since I turned 25, I look at myself differently, with a different sort of accountability.
I think i have said this before, but I look forward to settling into the next few years. After the turbulence of the last couple of years, it will be nice to find myself in something of a routine.
Anyway, long story short: blast from the past, John realizes his artificial hip, makes him un-hip to the underage.