Gym Etiquette

My gentle gym-going readers, let this serve as a reminder: once you leave a gym station or piece of equipment, you lose all claim to it! You cannot run off to the other side of the gym, or even to the nearby vicinity, and then come back and say, "I was using that."

It is absolutely insufferable! And unfair. It's like coming up to someone in a movie theater and being like, "I was sitting there, I went to get some popcorn/make a phone call/pick my nose/whatever, I want my seat back." Guess what? You left! It's not your seat anymore. Pick another seat.

Also, if you are on a piece of equipment, do not just sit there like a bump on a log between sets or reps contemplating, I don't know, why Britney Spears has stopped returning your love letters. Just use the equipment and move on. It's like childhood tag: no babysitting. Man! I hate seeing a station in use, I go off to do something else, and 5 min. later some idiot is still there staring off into space, or worse, talking on their cell phone.

Which brings me to another point, if you're going to talk on a cell phone on the gym floor, do not do it while using a piece of equipment. You may not think it slows you down, but trust me, it does. Also, I don't want to have to be the one to rush to your aid because your stupid butt was too distracted listening to Megan's play-by-play of her loser boyfriend's inane nattering to realize you're about to lose control of the dumbbell/barbell/stairclimber.

Also, mirrors are there for two purposes: to check out your hot self and to make sure you are doing proper form. If someone is working out in front of a mirror, and there is room on the floor, avoid getting in the way of the person working out. Don't just plunk yourself down right in front of them, so they can only help but strain over your shoulder or interrupt their own work out to move. If you are checking out your hot self, that is fine, but once again, don't get in other people's way and don't sit and check yourself out while you're on a piece of equipment.

And this goes for life in general: DO NOT LITTER!

On the plus side, the dork who came by to tell me he was using the bench just as I was finishing loading the barbell so inspired me with ire, I busted out an extra three reps and managed the weight much more easily than usual. So thanks dork! You might just help me up my max.