Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Oh what a tangled web we weave when at first we practice to . . . be gay???

Okay, so I am learning that in spite of living in a major urban area known for being a gay mecca, the gay world here is in fact very small. Please entertain the following examples:

Example 1.
Tim is some guy I randomly chatted with online. He has red hair and was once on a boat. This is all I can remember about him. He asked me out for drinks. I acquiesced. However, on the fateful day of our rendezvous, I bowed out to go have drinks with my dear friend, Travis. We never spoke again.

Weeks later, Brandon and I are traipsing around the Castro area Pride weekend and run into several small groups of his friends. A couple of days later, Tim IM's me: "Was that you with Brandon?" Apparently, red-headed Tim is a friend of my red-headed boyfriend, I met him, spoke with him, and had no clue.

Example 2.
For Pride weekend, Brandon brought up the possibility of actually participating in the parade. Sounds cool. Graeme is an ex boyfriend of mine. While briefly chatting, I came to find out that if Brandon and I participated in the parade, we would likely run into Graeme. I just about had a coronary.

Brandon and I ended up watching the parade on the sidelines. Whew!

Example 3.
Ethan is some sweet-faced kid who works at the Gap (the shameful site of my summer employment), in the Women's Dept. I have never really spoken to him. Brandon's best friend, Renato, is like "Do you know Ethan at the Gap?" He had to show me a picture of the kid for me to know who he was talking about.

A few days ago, Ethan was in the break room and he called out: "Hey are you dating Brandon? The Mormon guy?"

Apparently, Brandon is known as the Mormon guy in his circle of friends (which seems ironic since he seems to have collected a coterie of every gay Mormon between here and Palo Alto).

Example 4.
Blake is a graphic designer (from Texas, I believe) here in SF. I met him online. He's really cool. He also grew up conservatively Christian. In fact, he want to a theological seminary. He also kind of fell into design, and he has some interesting insights into both design and the nature of religion. We have had some good discussions and have hung out once.

Yesterday he IMs me: "Okay. I have been sent to spy. Are you dating Brandon?"


How does this guy know Brandon? Who is sending him to spy? Can I ever make a move in this town without having it carefully documented by the gay mafia?

So lesson learned--when it comes to gay scene in SF, tread carefully you never know where and how your footfalls will reverberate in the tangled web that is ... the SF gay scene! Dun Dun Duuuun!!! (Please see related Dun Dun Duuun Post)

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