Wednesday, April 23, 2008

To Spurn Disillusionment. For at least a little longer

I just finished watching The Hours with my dear friends, Jenny and Patrick. I had forgotten how absolutely, exquisitely beautiful this film is. Not just score and cinematography, but also in prose and sincere philosophical searching.

There are things that I understand in it differently, now that I am older and have faced losses and seen things change so much from what I originally thought they would be.

I also forgot how much I genuinely enjoy feeling my heart ache in a movie like The Hours. What can I say? Like a good, dark chocolate or nice, complex red there is something to be savored in a beautiful agony.

Nonetheless, I delight in happiness.

In these past few weeks and months, I have felt myself ready to surrender to the dispassionate distance of pragmatism and complacency; this is what it is to "grow up." However, recently, certain people have been brought into my path to give renewed hope in the possibility of retaining innocence and sincerity and trust. Nathan, if your eyes see this, you are one of those. Also, my soon-to-be roommates, Marc and Kevin.

I have been injected with new hope and will keep my heart.

Perhaps a day will come when I will finish "growing up" and finish this process of disillusionment. But for now, I will smile and cling to some idealism.

2 comments:

UZI said...

Oh J, just reading this makes my heart miss you! I miss our talks. Even though we rarely saw each other, we definitely made up for it in other ways.

XOXO

Tai said...

UPDATE YOUR BLOG! I keep checking for new entries....